“A certain shade of green,
tell me, is that what you need?
All signs around say move ahead.
Could someone please explain to me your ever present lack of speed? “
– Incubus, A Certain Shade of Green

While I was running yesterday, I was thinking about how glad I am to be starting on the path of a new career, but how I wish I had started it earlier. This is a dangerous path to go down. It starts you down the path of, “what if?” which usually leads straight to regret. Regret for past choices, regret for not taking a chance, regret for not speaking your mind.

Here’s the thing. You can’t go back. Ever. The sooner you get over that, the happier you’ll be.

I’ve made quite a few bad decisions in my life and I’m positive I’ll make more in the future. But any time I catch myself thinking, “If only I had…” I stop myself. A better way to think about it is, “Ok, so I did (or didn’t do) that. What steps can I take in the future to be better? What can I do now?” 

There’s simply no point in thinking about what you might have done, except to learn from it. But the ‘what if’ path is ludicrous. While quantum physics tells us that time runs in both directions (and that there may be infinite universes), for those of us on the macroscopic scale, we only know how to move forward on one timeline.

All mistakes are learning opportunities. All missed chances are chances to learn how to seize the moment in the future. All choices tell us about who we really are.

The more you dwell on the past, the more you get stuck there. The less you see the future and the less you move ahead into that future. I know it’s trite to say that ‘everyone makes mistakes,’ but it’s true. We all do. The best of us know to dust ourselves off and move on, without hesitation, without delay, and without our best friend sitting on our couch telling us to get over it already!

So stop wasting time wondering what could have been. Stop beating yourself up over that thing you did a week ago, a year ago, or ten years ago. It happened. Or it didn’t happen, depending on what it was. Either way, that time has passed, and all you have currently, is now.